Facts

What should I say??

Speechless.

About yesterday...

It's totally out of the blue and I'm blue.

Owh yeah.

But luckily I had nge to be my companion.

Hmm...we chatted about life.

Yawn~~~2am only adios to him.

He told me his life is simple and easy.

Stress free.

Wondering if I can be the way he lives now.

As I have so many things to deal with...

He's there, relaxing, playing his bkb.

Me, studies, family, schools, tuitions and my main point FRIENDSHIP.

Sucks alright?

Sometimes if you said or do something which are against them, hah. They will not tell you.

They're back there teasing you. Gossiping you.

Without you knowing about it. Yeah, this is the real world.

I gotta face the fact. I can believe no one now.

But some, they still can joke with you...care of you...

How nice when I were together with them crapping.

Yeah. Dream too much.

What??? I don't really feel I am myself now.

Syndromes, syndromes just like to insult me.

Quarrels, quarrels will I hear at home. That's stressful enough alright?

Like they know everyone's life is going through the same.

I can say I'm different from you.

Yeah. You have a nice family. A perfect family. You have sisters there caring of you. How wonderful....

That doesn't bring you any hard times. But me??? Do I have what you have???

Do you even asked about it??? No. I won't tell you either. To oblige, you're not a good friend though.

No no. I'm not saying about the person you're thinking. You won't know who is that.

This time, I'm really very pressure.

Sometimes I wanted to give up. I want to disappear from this universe. Right now, right here.

In short, to die immediately. To set free myself from suffering. Suffering to death.

But I "delete" all the negative ones. I can't just do whatever I want to do.

Yet another problem came to me.

Because of my clumsiness?

No! It's just that, people always think different from me.

And how am I suppose to know that, they have sensitivity on that???

I'm not a mind reader!!! Like I said before, need not I have curiosity if I am one.

So is it that we're not suit to be friends anymore???

Or I'm the one who is the alien???

You just can't understand my situation, don't you?

We're on the same ship. I'm sitting at the edge. Alone. Loneliness I felt.

I'm not begging for mercy. I just want you to wake me up!

I'm alone. I'm all alone. Don't sing to me "You're Not Alone". Don't let me hear of that song, too.

I'm the odd one.

I'm problematic.

That's it. Problematic.

Plus I'm not a very socializing person.

That worsens my life.

I need comforts.

I need somebody......

I need true friends....to get me through this.

I will try my best.

Perhaps, I will put this aside first.

I wanna concentrate on my studies too.

And why the hell climax happens at this time. Now, it's a bad time for it.

What should I do now?

See that now?? S.O.S.

"Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret."

Forgive me.